Bonza Noosa Booza.

Picture the scene; A full two week surf festival in one of Australia’s surfspot gems, ‘we’ll do a live feed and reports across the socials and some funny interviews’ with some leading Oz and worldwide professional watermen and women. ‘There’s even a dog-surfing event!’ The last part of the pitch naturally won us over….


Tickets paid and massive rucksack packed following the impressive pitch Jo Steele, one of the AS Broom Cupboard Intelligence Committee YTS, was well on her way. 

We thought something wasn’t quite right when we got a message on day one asking to wire a bit of extra cash for ‘y’know beers and shit to hand out, get people talking’. But we then did all this reading and ‘research’ about celebrities demands for riders in their trailer and we thought, ‘well yeah, it might be a thing?’  

We pressed on and asked for some live action reports…4 days later and nothing. Naturally we were now really concerned, well at least one of the Committee showed a bit of concern, they said on more than one occasion, it was two, two occasions, ‘do you think Jo’s alright?’ 

Another 2 days passed and we got an illegible whatsapp. We know that sort of illegible message, we f*cking pioneered it! That be a drunken one. Jo was clearly partying on, utilising the budget to make friends and likely horrible morning-after regrets. Fair play! 

But being the rather *sophisticated and serious surf journalism media studio that The AS Broom Cupboard is, we needed the results and the story. (*hahahahahahaha we couldn’t even keep a straight face typing it!) And, in all fairness, she was living the days that we wanted to be. So we did more ‘research’, found the time zone difference and called her in the Noosa small hours on every call making medium we could, hoping we’d catch a hung-over Jo. After 6 or 7 minutes of constantly calling, we were not disappointed: 

Us: Good afternoon from Blighty Jo! How are you? What time is it over there it must be coming on Dusk?

Jo: F*ck off, you know what time it is over here. That’s why you’re giggling. 

Us: So what’s the weather doing in Noosa? 

Jo: Hoops and nips out weather

Us: You missed the main event but have you caught any of the surf festival at all? 

Jo: Ermmm no. Legit arrived on time to the dog surfing event… wrong beach/ went straight in for a surf

Us: Is it busy? Good turn out?

Jo: So busy there’s fucking nowhere to park. Full of grockels

Us: Seen any surfing celebrities? 

Jo: No but I saw a women trying to be a celeb and paddling into the comp waves – she got told off over the tannoy

Us: What have Noosa’s conditions been like? 

Jo: Shit and small – just how I like it 

Us: What event would you have liked to have seen at the Noosa Surf Festival? 

Jo: The Dogs!! It’s so f*cking cute, animals surfing, I mean, come on! It’s the funniest thing to watch. Go on Youtube, there’s this surfing cat, it’s like a tortoiseshe… 

Us: (Butting in) What advice would you give to travellers for next year’s event?

Jo: Do it better than me in every way. Tequila is fun at the time but you can have too much of a good time. I don’t know? Never cross beams? (Ghostbusters reference) 

Us: Is there any other events happening locally that we can get you to give another really shit report on?

Jo: There was a festival yesterday… can’t remember what it was called. I didn’t go. I wanted to be in the sea

US: Seen any sharks? 

Jo: I did see a load of dolphins but didn’t trust that they weren’t sharks in disguise and slowly walked away whilst everyone else was paddling closer. 

Us: What would you do if you see Mick Fanning?

Jo: Ask for his hand in marriage 

Us: How much better is it surfing Noosa to the UK? 

Jo: 75% better. I actually miss the water being brain freeze cold and getting a claw hand that you can’t get yourself dressed with – and then having a hot bath afterwards

Us: Where is the next spot on your list to ride? 

Jo: Al’s Gush (A south Devon secret spot given its title by one of the AS Broom Cupboard Intelligence Committee)

Thank you to Jo Steele for being a good sport and wisely spending much required budget on just having the time of your life whilst we all freeze in the Broom Cupboard, trying to dodge the flooding on our commute in and not being able to ride a wave for weeks due to it being a fairly consistent massive blown out mess. Cheers then. 

If you want to see what actually happened during the Noosa Surf Festival and information if you’re planning a trip next year go to their website here. Why didn’t we just pay someone over there to do it…? #uselesshindsight 



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