Surfing makes you better at sex is a ‘bold statement’ we’d have to agree, and being as this is written by a surf community group it could be easily argued as bias.
…Oh you want a balanced counter argument in the intro? Ah well, no such luck. SURFERS ARE BETTER IN THE SACK! Get butt-naked and roll around with one as soon as you can, you’ll see!
Still not convinced? No no, it’s fine. We haven’t got anything better to do anyway so let’s appease your skepticism! Let’s argue the obvious stuff first – To do the good sex all partakers require a level of fitness. Surfing is a sport, a physical one, being fitter supports progress and like most sports the more you do the better you get at it. Surfing makes demands on:
STAMINA
Staying in the water for long periods of time requires stamina. You are constantly paddling to get into the right place, duck diving waves and take offs are all energy sapping pursuits. Not to mention the sport of getting in and out of a wetsuit, that’s can be a workout in itself. Therefore surfing supports better stamina. TICK!
MUSCLES
Popping up is a case in point here, if you can pop up you can do a press up, maybe more than one in a row. However, paddling and lugging around all the boards and shit means that surfers build up strength and (when done often) muscle. TICK!
SUPPLENESS
To move better in the water surfers need to be quickly mobile and free of muscle restriction. (Yeah, sexy right? This sounds like a line in a 50 shades book or something. Ok maybe not but suppleness and flexibility go together so if you’re into a lot of position swapping etc…). TICK!
There we go then fitness is a tick right? But why stop now, we’re on a roll, you’ve got this far, and if you’ve not already locked your ‘come to bed’ eyes on a surfer near you then let’s look at some of the many (f***ing loads actually) of other attributes as to why surfing makes you better at sex:
TENACITY
It’s not always plain sailing whilst on a plank in the sea. It takes dedication, determination and outright passion to keep trying and surfers are full to the brim with these qualities. Be it that move you know the mechanics of how to do, but can’t quite nail down. Or a hard paddle through a mess of whitewater to get out back for the 15th time that morning. Let’s put this point into some context for you with one of the least welcomed phrases during sex ‘ah bugger it, I give up’.
FOCUS
Being in the sea is dangerous enough alone so requires concentration, however adding a crowd of other surfers into the mix ensures that full focus is on potential risks. Being attentive is well sexy right?
FIDDLER
Surfers are always making incremental changes to improve their ride (fnarhaha). It might be repositioning the feet, dipping the hips, getting lower etc. Or perhaps it’s more depending on the conditions like when to start paddling or where is the best spot to take off. Attentive fiddlers (Name of our new Hip Hop album) are the sexiest of sexies, not just doing the same thing for hours on end (sound familiar?), but rather responding to responses and changing things. Or trying things out to make it better! Sexier!
BODY COMFORTABLE
Surfers are in and out of wetsuits. It’s part and parcel of surfing where the sea is bit nippy. Worrying about if someone sees your bits and pieces doesn’t get you changed very quickly. Therefore you will find most surfers don’t give too much thought to body confidence. In a sexy situation this stops any awkwardness, inner monologues, hesitance etc so all focus is on the rhythm…
There now, point argued well enough? Surfing makes you better at sex. If you are not tearing the clothes off your surfer right now (with consent…f***ing hell don’t do it without) are you even human?!! It’s valentines day, not a day for cold hearts…
…However, if you need one final point to sway you – look up professional surfers through the ages and find us one that isn’t well sexy. Go on…or you could not be scrolling through your phone to prove a point and engage in some hot loving instead.
