2020 Surf Resolution: The Severn Bore.

WRITTEN BY AL ‘THE CHAMPION OF HEARTS’ JOYNES

We have been collectively putting this off for far too long now. It seems like every year one of the AS broom cupboard Intelligence Committee (we need a punchier title) suggests it as a thing but not one of us organises it. As our self help book shelf grows it appears if you want to achieve your goal, you start by writing it down. So here we are writing it down. We are gonna ride the Severn Bore in 2020 mutha truckers!… for hopefully more than 20 seconds

But how do we do this? What resources are needed? Who do we need to talk to? What should our fancy dress theme be? Who brings the snacks? Research of course old timers, it’s time to brain fart! Let’s go:

Not going to lie, for reminding us to stick this on the 2020 must do list we owe a special thanks to Andrew Bill of Flyingfoxartworx and Dean Broad for the introduction. Andrew Bill’s artwork is beautiful, this very article image is one of his. Click it to see some of his other work on his Instagram.

For now though, let’s Bore!

WHAT IS THE SEVERN BORE?

Really? You don’t know? Alright f***it  – The Severn Bore is a tidal bore. It’s essentially a (often rideable) set of waves that form from a rising tide funnelling into the Bristol Channel and Severn Estuary. These wave sets can go beyond Gloucester.

The Bores are present following a new and full moon and usually occur twice a day, so ample number of opportunities to get on it, miss time your pop-up, fall and be laughed at by your mates.

SURELY WITH ALL THE SCIENCE AND SH*T THERE IS A TIMETABLE OF WHEN IT’LL BE GOOD?

Well lucky for us there is: severn-bore.co.uk provides us with a load of video’s, images etc but most importantly it provides a timetable of times, dates and ratings. The higher the stars the better the Bore will be.

WHAT BOARD?

From all the youtube vids what we have watched it appears to be ‘Go big’ with regards to plank selection. We’ll likely select something 9’2 + from the quiver. However, we have seen a lot of different vessels successfully riding the Bore. Not sure whether a few super big swell boards would do the trick, those buggers will catch just about anything.

Got a board that will nail this? Tell us about it here

WHERE TO RIDE IT?

So all the natives appear to be a bit coy about this, probably for good reason i.e. keep the number down, safety, private land etc. We reckon Epney next to the pub (because, if all else fails?). However, our plan is to reach out to the community around this, get in touch with a few veterans and see if they’ll allow us to join them and learn from them with the promise of a laugh, few beers after and including them in a write up.

CAN OF COKE MYTH?

So the water is quite a bit brown, we heard that brown rivers give you a squirty bum. The rumour is that you drink a full fat can of coke before going in one after to help kill any nasties. It’s worth a go right? Surely we’ve all done that experiment at School where you leave something in full fat coke over night and it’s dissolved by the morning, it’s all scientifical. Could be a thing…

BUSY?

Yeah, it looks like it can get really crowded so dressing up as the Minions is out (unless we can convince all partakers to…partake), so is our plan for Sumo suits – mainly because Dave was being a big wet blanket telling us all that our limited ability to swim would mean we might drown or something…the big wuss.

All in all it appears like there’s good camaraderie though, veterans of the Bore calling out ‘Left Left Left!’ to instruct the pack and room being made where available for those catching it a little up river.

We’ll keep you informed of our progress. But if you are a Bore veteran do get in touch with us via hello@ageingsurfer.co.uk or via Facebook or Instagram

GET STUCK IN

WANT TO GET INVOLVED IN AGEING SURFER?

Think you’ve got what it takes to review a spot or some gear, do ya? Yeah, you probably do. We’ve made some review forms and stuff for you to fill in, then send them to us and we’ll shove it on the site for you.

GET INVOLVED