Less Fat & Grumpy.


A surf fit plan is needed for Alchimedes. He’s walked in to the AgeingSurfer broom cupboard with a hangover and a belly full of over indulgence. He’s short tempered with a lack of sense of humour and keeps making smells. This is not the Alchimedes we know and adore. He’s usually fun loving, carefree and can chuck himself about a bit.

Time for an intervention to put this shadow of former glory back in to training. We told him he has to put a fitness plan together and stick to it for at least 3 months or we will share THAT photo which we lied about when we said we had deleted it. Happy New Year you grumpy bellend, best pull your socks and pants up and do some exercise.

I have got less sexy, it’s true and it’s no mean feat. A surf fit plan is actually welcomed. I know it’s the usual January vibe – ‘must get more fit’ and often the month where gyms get their most signups but it’s not every day that you catch a side on glimpse of yourself in the mirror and do a little ugly cry.

During the festive break I got caught in a (unusual for the location) rip which made a 1hr 45 session all paddling. I caught two waves and was absolutely cattle trucked (that’s some rhyming slang for f*cked) come the end of it. It took a fair few days to stop hurting. Whilst the session was a bit bollocks it was also a catalyst to inspire a plan to get more surf fit.

DISCLAIMER: I am by no means a fitness expert, I used to play a bit of rugby and football so I know my way around a few exercises and the ones that I am most comfortable with. I would encourage the rest of the squadron (if they are in a similar position to me) to create their own personal surf fit plan to make themselves a bit sexier.

Like most I am a busy human so I want to do a plan that I don’t have to do within one sitting. I want a set of tasks that I can complete in the 15 (or so) hours that I am not a cosily guffing and dribbling in my bed. I also absolutely f*cking hate running, I lose interest if I’m not chasing or trying to keep hold of a ball. I appreciate CV is a necessary addition to the surf fit plan though, so it’s in there…

This surf fit plan does not explore diet, which is, so I am told, a massive factor in getting sexier. Therefore, I will be drinking less booze, eating less chorizo and exploring more green things as well as quadrupling my intake of banana’s.

By putting this up on my fridge and sharing this with you legends I am hoping it motivates me to stick to it. I’ll let you know how I am getting on from month to month. If THAT photo get’s shared online I will also be using my new found fitness to windmill into the other members of the AgeingSurfer Broom Cupboard Intelligence Committee.



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